 |
| Rebecca, aged 35, Pembrokeshire (November
2001) |
A few months ago, I was probably at the lowest
point of my life that I had ever been. I wasn't suicidal, but
incredibly stressed, depressed and generally "lost". My health
was suffering and I felt that I had no one to turn to. I felt
like I had to continue in this state regardless, I had children
to see to and a business to run, I was exhausted both physically
and especially mentally. The way I had dealt with my problems
for a long time was to just laugh them off, to pretend they either
weren't there, or weren't serious, but this wasn't working anymore,
all that had happened was they had built up gradually over the
years and I was carrying them around with me. Then one day something
happened that was the "straw that broke the camel's back" - so
to speak, I went down hill very quickly, and looking back I was
very ill and struggling with everyday life.
I found iCounseling on the Internet, and knew it was now or never.
I wanted help from a counselor and preferred the idea of doing
this via a computer for various reasons. When Marilyn contacted
me the next day I immediately felt like I had made some progress.
The sessions I had with her were of great benefit to me. After
the first session alone I felt a sense of calm - something I hadn't
felt for years. I was encouraged to e-mail her if I felt anxious,
or I had a problem, and I did do, which was a massive help to
me and it helped me to cope knowing someone was there to help
me through it. I never felt judged, not once and neither did I
feel like she was saying what I wanted her to say. What I got
was kind and constructive help and guidance. I was set targets
and homework, ultimately you have to do a lot of soul searching
and work, but I knew that was the only way in which I could work
through my problems. I sometimes wonder what would have happened
to my mind if I hadn't made the move and contacted someone.
A few more months down the line and I have a very different out
look on life. I am happy and calm most days and deal with my problems
as and when they happen. I no longer have that anxiety bubbling
away and eating me up. I would encourage anyone reading this,
who feels like I once did to get in touch with someone who can
help you. There is a light at the end of it all. |
|
| Julie, aged 30, Yorkshire (October 2001) |
| So why counseling? Easy question. For me - it
was simply a case of do or die. I was balancing precariously on
the edge of my world - one step back into life or on step forward
into death. I stepped back.
I have spent the better part of 14 years in and out of various
psychiatrists and psychologists offices and they all told me
the same thing - keep taking the tablets. Well I don’t
want to take the tablets any more. I want to wake up in the
morning and feel glad I’m alive not bury my head under
the covers wishing the world would just go away. So I deduced
that counseling was needed and quickly, but my options were
limited. Counselors generally work in the larger cities and
as I live in a small village and don’t drive, this was
definitely a problem, until I discovered internet counseling
and all it’s advantages, convenient location - my bedroom,
anonymity - guaranteed (as I don’t trust people very easily
this was a must) and cost, not only in terms of money, but more
importantly in terms of my time. Travelling to the city would
be a 3 hour round trip for me and put together with the session
time, it would take a morning or afternoon of which I only have
the weekends. The most important advantage to me however, was
that nobody had to know. It is difficult to explain away an
afternoon every week, but not hard to say I’m surfing the
net for a couple of hours and surfing the net was how I found
iCounseling. I got lucky. iCounseling was the first site I checked
out and I hit the jackpot.
The site was extremely easy to use. I had only been using the
Internet for a couple of months and was quite the novice. The
site was very informative, of how it worked, what they offered
and who the counselors were themselves. I really liked the idea
of the secure messaging, but what really did it for me was the
section on “about us” in particular the following
statement -
“Our most important credentials are that we have faced
our own fears and inadequacies and that we continue to work
for a better life. This is what we offer you”.
Here were real people who had had real problems and would be
happy to help me. I felt that maybe these people could help
me and they wouldn’t give up on me. For the first time
in years I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, a very dim
light but nevertheless a light. So I signed up and within 24
hours of registering, I had an email from my counselor offering
me a time to talk. I wanted and expected a saviour, someone
to do the work for me, take the edge off what I was feeling
and make me better, another crutch to add to my thriving collection.
Pure fantasy of course but, hey everyone can dream. From the
first session it was clear that I would have to do the work
myself and I wasn’t so sure I was ready to. I’d lived
like this most of my life and it was the life I knew. My counselor
understood this and didn’t judge me for it and that is
amazing, to have someone see you and all of the bad stuff and
say - yeah that’s ok. It doesn’t matter to me, but
maybe we can try and work it out together. So from living in
a world of severe critical appraisal from my peers however unintentional
they may have been, this was a whole new perspective for me.
In the sessions I can be me, not the face that the world sees
but me however angry, obnoxious, agitated, irritating and frustrating
I get, my counselor remains the same. She doesn’t judge
me, but is always there for me and maintains she always will
be until I’m ready to fly solo. More importantly for some
strange unknown reason, she believes in me. I have had to think
about stuff that I’d locked away in the corner of my mind
for years, things that are extremely painful, but the ongoing
support that I receive is amazing, I regularly via the secure
messaging send my version of War and Peace to my counselor.
Whenever I am angry or depressed, it is a release for me and
knowing that someone is reading it who won’t ridicule me
is a bonus.
I wouldn’t say that I am leaping out of bed in the mornings
eager to face the world but neither am I burying my head under
the covers either. I know I have a long way to go and that I
must be patient to achieve my goal, but for the first time in
my life, I feel I have the right kind of support to get there.
I just wish that I had found iCounseling sooner, but better
late than never.
|
|
| Carlo, aged 21, Honduras (September
2001) |
The only disadvantage I see in internet counseling
is that it is impersonal. I missed looking at my counselor and
expressing my self not only orally but also physically. I am sure
she could have learned a lot from my physical language. I even
thought of going to UK in my vacations just for one session. Besides,
with personal counseling I am sure I have all of my counselor's
attention. On the other hand, this impersonal characteristic of
internet counseling allows patients to remain anonymous, which
is very valuable too.
When you are visiting a counselor you can only talk to him or
her at the day and time you agree. Secure messaging breaks that
comunication barrier and allows the patients to express what they
feel when they are feeling it. This is one of the advantages I
see in secure messaging and the one I like the most.
I am the kind of person that always go back to what was said and
analyze what every word meant. I saved every secure message I
sent and received and every session we had in a Word document.
So internet counseling does not allow the risk of forgetting
what was said (written) or what it meant because patients can
go over it again and again until they understand. I consider this
an important benefit from internet counseling.
I know there are many things I still have to work on, but I can
do it on my own so I can conclude saying internet counseling is
really helpful. And I know that if I need help someday, I can
always send a secure message. |
|
|
