The whole range of emotional responses to rape is impossible to list and explore here, but maybe we can start by simply trying to check out what rape is. Do you agree/disagree with the following statements?

1. You can only be raped by a stranger.
2. Rape can only happen in an isolated place, where there is no one to help you.
3. The rapist must have overwhelming strength.
4. The rape must be accompanied by violence or, least, the threat of violence.

OK - we all know the answers are false. But what about, I wasn't raped because:

1. The person is a friend, neighbour or member of my family and they would never hurt me.
2. At the beginning of what happened, I found myself being sexually excited.
3. The person was a woman and women aren't capable of raping anyone.
4. I said "no", but I wasn't forceful enough. I should have done a lot more to stop it happening.
5. The person is a trusted and respected member of society, who was just trying to help me.

Again, these statements are simply not true. But in any of these instances, there may be more complex reasons why it is difficult to accept the consequences of rape.

If you are raped by a stranger, among other things, you may feel fear, anger, disgust and hatred for the rapist. Hopefully, these are feelings can be shared with others close to you and they will probably be able to understand them and feel only compassion for you. I say "probably", because again nothing is set in stone and responses to rape vary hugely both within the victim and those close to him/her. But, if we consider the second set of circumstances that of being raped by someone you trusted, the diversity of reactions is even greater. In this case, there may be no help from those closest to you, because you can't even bear to tell them what happened. You may even find it hard to admit to yourself that rape took place at all. Anger, disgust and hatred, because it has no target, could then be turned inwards, which leads to depression and an overwhelming sense of isolation.

Whatever happened to you, seek help from a Counsellor. He/ she will work with you constructively, so that you will gain more insight and through this insight, you will be able to move on and not just survive.

Copyright The Human Touch